Why resolutions take more than just resolve – how to make change stick
How many New Year’s resolutions have you made this year?
Did you make any last year?
Are they the same ones?
How easy do you find it to make them stick? To see them through?
Most people have given up on theirs by the end of Jan and a measly 8% of people actually ever achieve them.
I’ve never met anyone who made a resolution because they thought that the change they wanted to make was a bad idea. I think it’s safe to say we make resolutions because they are things we want to make happen. We make them for the right reasons, we start off with the best intentions but something happens to the vast majority of us along the way.
So what’s going on? Why is it so difficult to make change stick? As a behavioural change expert, I though I might step in with helpful tips to help you make sure this year is the year you really see things through.
What’s going wrong?
1. The road less travelled
When you do something every day it becomes a habit. Your brain loooovvves habits, they’re easy and efficient from a processing point of view. They take very little energy and you can do them on autopilot.
In terms of the processes that go on in your brain. In order to perform a task, your brain depends on something called a neural pathway. That’s a chain of brain cells that the messages pass along. When an activity is well established in your brain, this pathway is strong.
Imagine walking along a path through a grassy field. The habit path is the well-trodden one, the one that is easy to follow. The grass has worn away leaving a clear track in the earth. You’d have no problem following it while having a conversation or looking at a map.
When you start something new however, you are dealing with the mental equivalent of a very overgrown field. Depending how challenging the change, there may also be brambles and nettles along the way. To start a new habit you need to create a new neural pathway, to make new connections in your brain. You actually create new brain cells when you do this so it’s a pretty good thing all round!
But imagine yourself trying to create a well trodden path in the long grass. At first, you’ve probably got quite a lot of energy for it but when you keep coming back and trying to follow the same route day after day, with the energy it takes to do that, you can start to see why it might be so difficult. You have to keep treading that grass down. Keep walking the same path. Deal with the obstacles along the way. It feels hard, it takes energy and it is anything other than autopilot at first.
This can be a helpful metaphor to keep in mind as you try to implement new habits. Imagine the connections forming in your brain. Remember you’re trying to form a strong new habit – AND let the old path grow over.
2. You’re pre-programmed to avoid change
Your brain is programmed to enjoy things as they are. Simply put, we don’t like change. Your lizard brain – the bit that’s responsible for your primitive survival instincts - likes to know that things are going to stay the same, that you’re going to have to deal with limited variables and minimal risk. Your lizard brain is strong and not all that interested in the rational, conscious thoughts you have that contradict its need to protect you.
When you think of it like this you can start to see why you might struggle to implement a resolution, even if you know it’s the right thing to do on a logical level.
Your lizard brain is a big fan of your comfort zone.
To avoid your lizard brain feeling that it needs to take over, try to minimise the risks you expose it to. Plan things in advance to help you in pursuit of your goals. If your resolution is to do more exercise for example, plan when you’re going to do it, make sure your kit is ready and packed, give yourself a mantra or smaller task such as just making it out of the front door. Don’t give your lizard brain a chance to take back over – remember it doesn’t like risk and uncertainty.
You also need to be able to paint a very positive picture of the future, which brings me on to point 3.
3. Towards not against - subconscious needs to have a clear picture
To support with both points one and two, you need to be able to paint a very clear picture of the future you’re working towards. To make it worth repeatedly treading that path or overcoming your instinct to keep things the same, you need to give your subconscious something to work with.
I see far too many people create resolutions that are about moving ‘away’ from something. Away from goals focus on the thing that is going to be lacking – giving up smoking, giving up sugar, stopping eating crap! These kinds of goals are genuinely not geared to work with the way your brain works.
Towards goals are far more interesting for the parts of your brain that influence your decision making when you’re stressed, tired, angry, hungry, frustrated or sad. Your subconscious and your limbic (lizard) brain account for 80% of your thinking power. Their huge influence on your behaviour means you need to give them what they need in order to succeed - especially when your resolve is going to be tested.
Vision boards, specific goals and visualisation are all examples of how you can imprint a positive version of the future you’re trying to create upon your subconscious. Do this well and your subconscious will support you when you need to make quick decisions under pressure or any kind of stress.
Make sure you spend time envisioning what your life is going to be like when you’ve achieved your goal, when you’ve stuck to your resolution. Write it down, visualise it as much as possible. Think about how you’re going to feel, what you might do differently when you’ve made this change, how it will impact the different parts of your life. Step into this future in your minds eye as much as you possibly can to give your subconscious a taste of how it will feel when you’ve done it. Make sure it feels good, exciting and as real as possible.
Bring it on!
It can be tough to implement real change, which is why so few people actually achieve their resolutions. Try to choose just one or two things you’re really going to focus on making happen. You may not find it easy but implementing these key things will ensure you give yourself the best chance.
Slip ups are almost inevitable. Rather than give up at the first transgression, learn from it. Think about what you missed out from the above points, learn from it and start again stronger. Accepting that it may be hard and you make experience obstacles is a huge part of getting to where you want to be.
I hope you find these tips helpful. I’d love to hear how you get on, do get in touch and let me know.
